6 Reasons Why I Can’t Be A Doomsday Prepper
1. Boys Smell! I have four sons. If I have to live in a bunker with them, I will need like 50 years of air freshener! Plus, I am sure that the most effective “boy smell” cancelling air fresheners must be toxic, so I won’t live long anyway.
2. I doubt the apocalypse will occur anytime soon. As my son says, “Always doubt the apocalypse, no one will laugh at you if you’re wrong.” Since I’m not sure the world is going to end in my lifetime, can I justify investing that much money and time when I could be going to Disneyland and having fun?
3. If it started raining vampire-werewolf-zombies, I’m not sure I could defend myself. Seriously, would guns even work? They’re already dead! I have a cat, but she’s super timid and only likes to torture bugs, not kill them. Plus I don’t want to store 5+ years of food for her. I’m good with a few months, but not 5 years.
4. If the Doomsday Apocalypse actually happened, I wouldn’t have anyone to talk to, because my family always talks about “boy” stuff. Would I want to be stuck in a smelly boy bunker, hearing my boys lament the loss of their video games for the rest of my life? (My youngest just said, “We can have generators.”)
5. There’s no where I could easily build a secret, EMP-shielded, underground bunker. Too many earthquakes, land slides, etc, in my area. I guess I could build one further out, but then the question remains, how would I get there? No off-road vehicle in our household. Hmm… I guess I could use my basement. Oh, that’s right! No basements in southern California.
6. Brownies. I love them. Can you actually make a good brownie in a solar oven or on a camp stove? Is life worth living without brownies? Or lemon bars? Is it possible to have that golden brown crust without a real oven? And will life be worth living without delicious desserts to mask the horror of life after the “end of the world”? That is the million dollar question.
6 Reasons Why I Should Be A Doomsday Prepper
1. I like being prepared. Or, according to my hilarious youngest son, I’m paranoid. He says I’m paranoid about lots of stuff. Becoming a full-fledged “doomsday prepper” would fit right in with the “paranoid” person I apparently already am.
2. I’m big on canning. A little more couldn’t hurt. Or a LOT more. My sons are growing up and are bottomless pits for food. So, we need more food anyway.
3. It will be the ultimate “I told you so.” If a doomsday apocalypse actually happened, some people would live long enough for me to say “I told you so.” Of course, that would attract undo attention which is a big “no-no” in the prepping world. Plus, I’m not real big on rubbing it in when someone else was wrong. So scratch this one.
4. Because I don’t want my cat to needlessly die. Or my family. Okay, maybe I should have mentioned my family first, because as much as I like my cat, I like my family more. (Sorry, Mia!) If a little prepping on my part can protect them, it’s totally worth it. Right?
5. Bad things can and do happen every day. While I don’t believe the world is going “end” in my lifetime, there are so many other events I can prepare for: unemployment, an earthquake, a storm, wildfire, etc. Even if the doomsday apocalypse doesn’t happen, I will be prepared for just about anything.
6. I can learn the skills I need now to make life after the apocalypse enjoyable. Life is worth living, with or without brownies. *BUT* if I become a serious prepper, I’m sure I can learn to make a really good brownie BEFORE the apocalypse! Plus there are all sorts of other skills which can be useful in my life right now: gardening, baking, building things, etc. I can learn to make brownies like this with non-traditional cooking methods now, so I can cover the boy smell in our bunker! Plus chocolate makes everything better!
Could you be a doomsday prepper?
How about simply becoming more prepared?
Laurel Laurie Staten Nguyen Newhall, CA